On Death and Dying

One of my favoritest comedians died recently. Like…within the last 24 hours or so. Maybe you’ve heard of him.

Robin Williams.

Yes, Peter Pan’s gone. Patch Adam’s has stopped saving patients. The Bicentennial Man has worn down. The immortal Genie has disappeared in a puff of smoke. All of it sad.

All of it true.

And here I am, 3 AM, dwelling on this. No matter what you believe, afterlife or not, Robin Williams is no longer here. His movies are delightful. And to those who have watched his stand-up comedies, they’re even moreso (if you have the courage to look).

His last tweet, posted July 31st, referred to the 25th birthday of his daughter Zelda Williams. That’s, like, eleven days before his death. If that were to happen to me, my mother or father will have killed themselves THIS YEAR December 27th. It hasn’t happened (obviously since if I knew about it we’d be in some sort of time-turner paradox) and I doubt it will…but that’s the relativity. I don’t think I’m ready for that. I’m the oldest child and all, but damn, that’s too soon…relatively. But Robin suffered depression…badly…and this may seem biased and naive but I can see a father suffer through even the worst of depressions for his daughter…until they’re old enough. Some might, some might not, I’m not saying each depression victim is the same…but I can see the justification. If you need an idea of the depression Robin Williams suffered, you can watch his comedy shows on Youtube. Each one hints at it. But for how funny they are, the world didn’t notice.

And then my thoughts shot further.

My brother, dead at 14, lived within Robin Williams lifetime. At no point of his living did Robin Williams not exist. And I’m a little jealous.

I thought this would be funny to post on Facebook but my common sense proved smarter. That thought was: If I were to ever kill myself, it would only be when I’m more famous than Robin Willaims.

Now, now, stop, wait, quit it, you dick, I’m not thinking about killing myself. I wonder about it but I think that’s required by every person reading this. I don’t think any adult reading this has NEVER thought about what would happen if they kill themselves. Some believe they’ll find eternal life while some hope for an eternal void they won’t know. Each has their philosophy but I think everyone has thought about it.

That’s kind of what makes us human. We think about everything including ENDING OURSELVES. Just like George Carlin says:

“Do you realise, that right this second, right now somewhere around the world some guy is getting ready to kill himself. Isn’t that great? Statistics show that every year a million people commit suicide. Thats 2800 a day. That’s one every thirty seconds.
[Stares at watch]
There goes another guy!”

Now I can’t assume everyone’s delved into the concept, but I think most people have. When times get rough we wonder what it would be like to…not experience it at all. To die? To be rid of this mortal coil? Who couldn’t?

I contest, no one.

But really…if every depressed patient considered suicide as an alternative only when they’d achieved a worldwide fame surpassing Robin Williams, we’d see a lot less suicides…

…or a lot more famous suicides.

I can’t tell you, readers, that this will be a happy blog. Even know as I write it I can’t tell if you that thousands of unhappy people killing themselves per day is worse than thousands of famous people killing themselves per day…because the numbers won’t change…unless we ALL do something about it.

Do what? You might ask.

First, be kind. It doesn’t matter how badly you hate someone, just be fucking decent to them.

Second, look at and listen to other people. Pay attention. Maybe if you can muster the courage, talk to them. I can’t tell you the odds but maybe they’re looking for someone to talk to.

Third, if neither of those come easy, FIGURE YOURSELF OUT. That comes first. Decide what you believe. Decide what you care about. Ignore what your parents think. I may be coming off as radical, but you can’t assume that what your parents think is correct…if it is…constant scrutiny will prove it thus. If not…find your own truth. I bring this up because I’ve personally seen dozens of people slump into depressions because their thoughts are not their parent’s or others’ thoughts. I can’t claim to know the right idea. And neither can you. But we can all claim our own truth…whether it’s right or not. We must use our individual focus to determine any and all of that.

Hands down though…one of my favorite comedians died yesterday. And I feel the same as when George Carlin died. Or when John Pinette died. When laughter dies, something inside me stops…that particular vein of comedy can no longer continue. But I can. I can keep their ideas alive. And I will. I’ll keep quoting them. I’ll keep thinking and, hopefully, keep making people laugh. I’ll remember them. If you don’t, fine. If you do, neato. Live your lives…

And be the best person you want to be.

I’ll miss you Robin.

At the very least, thanks for reading.


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